


Pretty Fly (For a White Guy)

by killerweasel



Series: Archangel of Embarrassment [3]
Category: Good Omens (TV Series)
Genre: Animal Transformation, Body Horror, F/M, Ineffable Bureaucracy (Good Omens), Insect Transformation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-07
Updated: 2020-05-07
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:08:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24058000
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/killerweasel/pseuds/killerweasel
Summary: He shouldn't have mocked her buzzing.
Relationships: Beelzebub/Gabriel (Good Omens)
Series: Archangel of Embarrassment [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1720852
Comments: 2
Kudos: 43





	Pretty Fly (For a White Guy)

Title: Pretty Fly (For a White Guy)  
Fandom: Good Omens (TV Series)  
Characters: Beelzebub/Gabriel  
Pairings: Beelzebub/Gabriel  
Word Count: 729  
Rating: PG  
A/N: After Episode 6, body horror  
Summary: He shouldn't have mocked her buzzing.

"You sound ridiculous when you're shitfaced, Bee. Your buzzing is out of control." The empty whiskey bottle fell from Gabriel's hand onto the floor with a thud. He snorted. "'Zzzzo then I zzzzaid you're a dick, Crowley'. That's what you sound like." He was so busy looking around for another bottle he failed to notice the anger on Beelzebub's face.

A wicked thought popped into Beelzebub's head. With a smirk, she summoned a large amount of Unholy energy. it danced over her skin like green lightning. Then she gabbed Gabriel by the ankle. If he hadn't been so drunk, it more than likely would have failed. However, he was on his third bottle of whiskey. There was a bright flash and Beelzebub found herself staring at a lavender fly the size of a rat. "Holy shit, it worked!"

At first Gabriel didn't know what had happened. He felt very strange, like something was seriously wrong with his corporation. Then he realized the room was now much larger. He looked up to see several shocked Beelzebubs looking down at him. His limbs didn't do what he wanted. Instead of running, he scuttled backward, tangling his many legs inside of the sheets. Apparently flies could taste with their feet and he was getting a mouthful of things he never wanted to experience.

"Heeeelp meeee!" He tried to use his wings to rise off the bed. Gabriel barely got off the mattress before he fell again. He landed awkwardly on the pillow, buzzing in panic. A shadow fell across him. With a very tiny shriek, he extended his wings, flapping them like mad. He rose up a few inches and began to zip around the room in frenzy.

Beelzebub watched the rat-sized fly bounce off the walls and furniture. The spectacle was ridiculous. She cracked up, collapsing against the wall in laughter. She tried and failed several times to change him back, but she was laughing too hard to concentrate. It wasn't until Gabriel took a bad bounce off of the mirror that she forced herself to sober up. A snap of her fingers turned him to his normal self again.

Gabriel opened his eyes and instantly regretted it. While he wasn't seeing dozens of the same thing, everything was blurry and he had a serious case of vertigo. "Oh fuck." His stomach spun along with everything else, making him lurch towards the bathroom in a panic. He almost didn't make it to the toilet in time. By the time he was finished, he wanted to just curl up in a ball and discorporate.

"It wazzz juzzzt a joke, Gabriel." Beelzebub's voice was uncertain and worried in the doorway behind him. "I didn't even know if it would work. I haven't tried that on an angel before."

"Never again, Bee. I fucking mean it." Gabriel leaned against the wall by the toilet, breathing hard. Even though it was empty, his stomach gave another lurch. The Archangel swallowed a few times before closing his eyes. "I'm sorry I mocked your buzzing. I like it when you buzz, especially when you're... well, you know."

Beelzebub crouched down next to Gabriel, running her fingers through his hair. "Do you want me to go?"

"Nah." He tilted himself sideways until he was resting against her. "Everything is still spinning. I think I'm going to need a hand to get back to the bed without falling on my face. Besides, I'm pretty sure this whole thing will give me nightmares and you're going to have to wake me up."

Beelzebub was quiet as she helped him back into the bedroom. Gabriel kept his eyes closed, though it didn't help with the spinning. A snap of his fingers replaced the sheets and pillowcases on the bed. He waited for Beelzebub to say something. When she didn't, he got onto the mattress with a sigh. "Out of curiosity, have you ever turned yourself into a fly?"

"Uzzzed to do it all the time. Very helpful for zzzpying." She stuck another pillow under his head to put him at an angle. "The largest I've ever been was one the size of a golden retriever."

He didn't want to ask, but couldn't stop himself. "Why?"

"Wanted to scare the zzzzhit out of Hastur." Beelzebub laughed. "Didn't expect for a literal reaction, but it was worth it."

"Honestly, that explains a lot."


End file.
